Does anyone want Katie?

Does anyone want Katie? We’ve been on the outs for the last month and last night she crossed the line. For the last three years I’ve dealt with the nonstop meowing, excessive shedding and the occasion bird, mouse or snake at my doorstep. But last night takes the cake (in more ways than one.)

Dave’s sister is getting married on Saturday and I get to make her cake. This is my first attempt at a wedding cake and I have to admit I’m pretty nervous. Last night I was working on making hundreds of little sugar flowers. I decided to take a break and go get the mail. I left the front door open because I was just going to be a second. As soon as I got the mail I could see Katie on the doorstep with something in her mouth. This is a usual scene at my house. I couldn’t tell what it was but I yelled at her to drop it. Instead she decided to run into the house.

I ran after her and caught her in the kitchen. I realized the bird she was carrying was still very alive. When she saw me she let go of the bird. Unfortunately it was right on top of the flowers I so painstakingly made. The bird was flying around like crazy. I was screaming a trying to get Katie out of the kitchen. I’m sure it would have been a funny sight but I was too freaked out and devastated over the loss of my flowers.

I threw Katie outside and began to look for the bird. I slinked around the kitchen and timidly looked in every corner. No bird. I looked in the basement thinking maybe she flew down there. No bird. I grabbed a laundry basket to use a trap and continued my search throughout the house. Still no bird.

So I opened all of the doors and went outside and cried. I didn’t know what to do. Dave was on a trip, my kitchen was in shambles, and there was some wild bird waiting to attack me somewhere in my house.

As a kid I had a scary incident with a huge grasshopper. It was the most traumatic experience I can remember to date. Until recently every scary dream I had involved grasshoppers. It’s my biggest irrational fear. What bothers me so much about them is how unpredictable they are. You never know where they are going to hop next. Having this bird in my house not knowing where it was or where it will fly next took me right back to that day with the five inch grasshopper.

After spending a half an hour outside talking with my mom as she tried to calm me down I figured the bird had left or maybe it flew outside during the commotion when I wasn’t looking. I convinced myself I was safe. I grabbed the vacuum and started the daunting task of cleaning up all of the feathers. As the vacuum cleaner came close to the bay window in my kitchen the missing bird was not missing any more. It started fluttering and flying into things. Again I screamed and ran outside.

I eventually went next door and asked my neighbor to help me out. I’m sure they think I’m crazy. I was a complete basket case. Through the tears I managed to tell them my predicament. Stan easily grabbed the bird and released it outside. It didn’t seem to be too hurt since it flew away immediately.

I was really surprised by my reaction to this whole situation. I can usually keep it together and rarely cry in front of people. I’m not sure if the tears came from my fear of unpredictable birds, confusion with Katie, or having my cake destroyed.

I think the main reason is because I’m so paranoid about having my house sanitized before I cook for other people. I always kick Katie outside, put on a hair net and sterilize my kitchen before I start cooking anything that is for someone else. I would hate to have people not want to eat my food because they know I have a cat in the house.

Had I not been working on Debbie’s cake I probably wouldn’t have reacted so insanely about a bird in the house. Tonight I’ll resume the cake decorating, sans the risk of passing on the bird flu, and Katie will not be allowed in the house for the next few days. I’ll set up her bed in the garage with some extra treats. I’m sure she’ll be devastated, but I don’t have a choice.